Shaq vs Kobe

With one shared championship and a horizon that looks like dynasty, Kobe and Shaq have chosen to sip from a timeless Hollywood cocktail: Take two parts talent, sprinkle liberally with success, shake...then wait for implosion.

The ugliness may not have reached Marcus Camby vs. Danny Ferry proportions, but when it does, don't look for Phil Jax to borrow a page from Jeff Van Gundy's playbook and use his face as a peace offering.

That would be too easy.

No, these two will have to work it out together. But what are we really looking at here -- David vs. Goliath? Ball Hog vs. the Rim Reaper? Cute as a Backstreet Boy vs. Huge as John Popper? Kobe Bryant, Shaquille O'Neal: Their union may have less future than a horny couple on "Temptation Island." But let's see how they stack up at the tale of the tape.

So there you have it. It's so simple when you break things down scientifically. In a sentimental call, the advantage goes to Shaq. But hang in there, Kobe, it's probably the last time anyone will pick against you for a long, long time. Until next time, I'm Nick Bakay reminding you the numbers never lie.