Who's the Leader of the Club?

I wish the Angels' batting helmets had mouse ears.

In addition to five years probation, former Dolphin kicker Fulton Walker was sentenced to 6 months of home confinement. For a pot smoker, isn't staying home for 6 months, like, heaven?

Next time I gain a few pounds, I'm gonna tell my husband it's because light heavyweights get bigger purses than bantams.

The Rams season is so hard to stomach that at this point, instead of the Hall of Fame, they're candidates for the Museum of Tolerance.

News item: A great-grandmother squatted 80 pounds, bench-pressed 50 and dead-lifted 135 at the Nevada Power-Lifting Championships. Apparently she's training to be her own pallbearer.

The average age of the members of the Augusta National Golf Club is 72. If women win the right to join, Anna Nicole Smith will be first in line.

If there's a National Arm Wrestling Championship, can staring contests be far behind?

In England, the Wolverhampton Wanderers soccer team is handing out free condoms before all matches. I'd hate to clean up that field after a game.

Scott Hamilton is getting married? But I thought ...

Terrel called his Sharpie celebration "Sign o' Trouble." I thought that's what Steve Mariucci calls every closed-door meeting with T.O.

So what are the odds Disney's next big animated feature is Rally Monkeys of the Caribbean?

Karl Malone is considering retirement. Roughly translated, that means that after four false alarms and a couple of pathetic comebacks, we expect his exit somewhere around 2008.

It's that awful time of year when football, baseball, and hockey collide. Next time I see my man, his ass will be a little wider, and my shoe collection will be a little bigger.

I don't mean to be catty, but Jerry West went from the Lakers to the Grizzlies? If you ask me, that's like leaving Brad Pitt for Robert Wuhl.