Why/Why Not Go to the Gold Club?

Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be pro-athletic strip club devotees, or they might end up testifying for the defense of a man the prosecutors are calling "a real scumbag."

The owner of The Gold Club, Atlanta's high-priced gentlemen's lounge known for flying in and pampering pro-athletes, allegedly bought protection from the Gambino crime family, engaged in credit card fraud and loansharking, obstructed justice, and ordered the beatings of about 20 people. Uh oh.

Thinking of dropping in for a nightcap, or a lapdance? You might want to think twice.

 
WHY GO TO THE GOLD CLUB?
You just can't beat allegedly free sex'n drugs'n rock'n roll.

WHY NOT?
Grand jury subpoenas may conflict with your playoff schedule.

WHY?
Can't a man relax?

WHY NOT?
As the wife tersely says, "no."

WHY?
Maybe you'll meet a mobster.

WHY NOT?
Maybe he'll gun you down at a tollbooth.

WHY?
The thrill of being surrounded by excruciatingly pretty young things.

WHY NOT?
The horror that one of 'em might be your daughter.

WHY?
A chance to shake hands with your wealthier drinking fans.

WHY NOT?
Wealthy or not, vomit on your Gucci shoes is vomit on your Gucci shoes.

WHY?
What's better than a lap dance
from a Georgia peach?

WHY NOT?
Peaches tend to cling.

WHY?
The chance to swap DNA with a shapely stripper.

WHY NOT?
The chance to display a DNR order on your lumpy hospice bed.

WHY?
Finally, a free lunch.

WHY NOT?
Oh yeah, there is no free lunch.

WHY?
The strippers are world class beauties.

WHY NOT?
Jumbo's Clown Room misses your business.

WHY?
You might get a good seat at the "Flotsam Trial of The Year."

WHY NOT?
You might be dropped from your soup endorsement deal.

The Gold Club; sounds like a Showtime movie waiting to happen. Just don't forget the business card of your bail bondsman.